Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sakit atau Tidak sakit sama saja..

Hello my fellow friend…:))
Looking by the title…what came across in our mind…?
I have my old friend…quite closed, I cant deny she one of my best friend who support my journey of life all this while…sweet and bitter life but the other day, I felt sad inside and a little frustatation…not only because the word she said but she is friend of mine since 18 years ago…but this is only sharing…
All this while she always comfort me and support me but when she said that someone who sick same as one who did not sick…wow that is terrible fact for me.
I did experience when I am in good health before and for this coming 8 year this year as I always mention I have facing the difficulty of life due to my illness. I know that everyone got their own problem whether small or big but surely affect their daily life as well.
We cannot counter just looking the family who live happily got their own problem e.g. financial, arguing or so on…but at least if we got good health we can do anything we want, which can release tension or makes something benefit or come out with solution when came to problem BUT how about for someone suffering in health problem …cant wakeup, talk or walk..It is same with in good health? It totally different my friend, am I right…he he
What I am trying to say here is…just imagine someone in good health even many problem not same with someone suffering illness…so aware you word…
I not blame her because she not in my shoes..

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Experince is the best TEACHER

Hello and Aloha guys….
My entry today it all about experience that is TEACHER for the rest of my life….
I believed as a human being we all through different journey in our life, some people have a good life while the other in another round hu hu…
Some people learn from the past while the others don’t…
Coming to 8 years in (RA) joint problem disease given many experience for me, flash back went through the bitter life everday like a nightmare for me. My family spent a lot of money (cant count by number) and of course time to find any alternative to cure my pain, trying many things of meds from outside, traditional method, massage and so on, but unluckily no one can abate…it only make it became worst. (Thank you to my family that I cant explain by any suitable all did great job…GOD BLESS)
Simple story we had went almost around Sabah to looking someone help it called “Bomoh” errrm………we had been to Keningau a few times, Pitas, Kudat ,Sandakan and so on.
Anyway the experience teach me a lot, end of the day I back to the doctor which the first place trying to avoided it, anyhow I have seeing doctor since I diagnoses RA but not taken the meds given properly (still blamed myself) . Finally I release not all the health problem can handle by special person (Bomoh), for me it is the doctor duty as well. Due to a lot of taking outside meds pain killer and herbs my pain became worse and the bone going to fast damage, I cannot avoiding the operation anymore to change to artificial bone(How sad indeed).
By sharing I hope anyone do not repeat make mistake as I am, MENYESAL KEMUDIAN HARI TIDAK BERGUNA…just believed the doctor who serve you, it is they task, their will do the best advice and assist you on you early treatment of you disease…I am begging you to believed me based on my experience…before everything was late. RA disease can control and help by suitable meds from early damage.

Even now after a few operations I felt better but if I can turn back I wish to avoid any operation as well because the early treatment can help it. Now and onward I promise to myself whatever happened I only taken the meds which prescribed by my specialist doctor and do not repeat the mistake again.
This experience is my Teacher the rest of my life…
P/s; don’t simply taken any meds from outside without doctor consult.
Thank You…

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Total Knee Replacement (TKR)...2

Total Knee Replacement (TKR)

Not everyone got same experience as mine ,I have done both total knee replacement (TKR) this year (June and sept 2011)…now I am sharing with all of you out there…..what is all about TKR?
What is a total knee replacement?
Knee replacement surgery removes the damaged joint lining and replaces the joint surfaces with a metal and plastic implant that functions similar to a normal knee.

Bagi Tuhan Tiada Yang Mustahil

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Unexplain Feeling

Here again my sharing of life, unexplained feeling indeed, my tears run down from my cheeks. It happened on 08 Sept 2011, me and my parents went to Queen for review at clinic orthopedic (bone), actually my next review in on 06 October but due to my bad condition lately my mum suggest to come early. I think today is the bad day for all my review the specialist doc Mr. Baskaran on MC today, how frustrating I am the other doctor cannot make any decision for me, I plan to do booked for the next operation. After seeing the general doctor (not interested to know his name) but its Indian guy, I feel sad because I really not impress how he treat me as well, I also noted that the operation schedule is so pack till end of the year but I still hoping I can booked at least I am waiting something for sure for next mission, Lately I really cant bear my pain it terrible and came this appoiment with full of hope. I leave the rooms with frustrating face. Anyway I can still smile to the Nurse Enikah , she convince me that have any chance everyway.
We arrived at home almost 2 pm. Tired and sleepy as well, I plan to take a nap but suddenly around 2.25pm, my phone was rang, I saw that a new number appeared, early I did think that I should not pick up the phone but then I make it, it was so surprising for me it was from Dr. Baskaran, wow I can feel that my heart beating being stop a while like saya menang Jackpot Ha Ha, I did happy but many things came cross my mind. Tidak tau mo cakap apa , one words unbelived, this is a great opportunity then I have to grabbed it.
My conversation with the doc:
Doc Baskaran : Hello , ini dr bas , ini airin ka?
Me : iya saya
Doc : Saya teda di clinic today, sya kurang sihat..But ko mau operation ka next
Week Rabu?
Me: (Without thinking and asking) I sad YES
That how it happened, I really can’t think, I do wish to do the operation early but not this time, I am not ready both mental and psychical. I just leave hospital only just three month and now for sure I will there again, my parents was shocked but surely they happy for me, it just like my dream come true.
From what was happened today I believed all my prayer also my mum and family answer by GOD, I know he always there for me, he will make a way seems to be no way. I fear to face it again but I hope I can cope with it. GOD helping me in his own way.
This is the last entry before I go to admit in hospital. I only hope one thing that everything is goes well and get well very very soon,

P/s: need pray from all of you out there.



Tiba- tiba terdetik di hati saya ingin bercakap soal teman/ kawan/sahabat tidak kiralah bestfriend kah, teman dari kecil ,teman se- university dan teman sekerja.
Rasanya setiap insan di dunia ini mempunyai ramai teman yang berada jauh dan dekat, bila kita pergi ke sesuatu tempat yang baru pastinya kita berkenalan dengan kawan baru dan persahabatan pun bermula tapi adakah kawan kita itu betul-betul memang yang boleh dikategorikan sebagai kawan?…fikir2kan lah
Namun seperti yang kita biasa dengar teman ketawa senang untuk di cari tetapi teman menangis..memang susah nak dapat so dari situ kita akan faham siapa sebenarnya teman yang sejati ehhhwa…:)
Untuk menguji siapa teman menangis kita bukanlah susah, apabila musibah yang tidak dijangka berlaku ke atas diri kita tanpa kita pinta semua akan terjawab…
Contoh paling dekat ialah apabila kita di timpa masalah kewangan atau kesihatan , sakit yang teruk dan perlukan masa untuk sembuh, dari situ kita tahu siapa sebenarnya kawan, siapa mereka yang sudi melawat kita? Bertanya khabar? memberi kata-kata semangat agar cepat sembuh even a simple SMS sudah cukup tapi tidak semua manusia ingat untuk melakukkan itu.
Kita semua alpa dengan kesibukan hidup masing2,Kita sering lupa bahawa apa yang kita miliki dengan sekelip mata sahaja akan mudah di ambil oleh pencipta kita,kekayaan yang kita miliki, kemewahan, kegembiraan dan pastinya kesihatan sebab setiap sesuatu yang bermula darinya pasti kembali kepadanya. Tiada yang kekal di dunia ini semua adalah pinjaman semata-mata.

Oleh itu, beringatlah kepada mereka yang dalam keadaan tidak sempurna dan melalui saat kesusahan dalam hidup mungkin mereka memerlukan anda tanpa anda sedari sebagai teman..bagi mereka yang tergolong dalam jenis teman tersebut ( mula lupa teman atau pura-pura lupa dan sentiasa merasakan diri sibuk dan tiada masa)selamat beringat dan renungkannya(peringatan untuk diri sendiri)
p/s tiada kaitan kepada yang hidup atau sudah pergi Cuma perkongsian semata-mata..eppy reading.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

No Cry again...

I also don’t know why recently I feel want to write much in my blog (just started blogging and still learning process) , by looking and reading many blog everyday giving me inspire rather than in negative thinking all the way due to the terrible condition. It just suddenly comes out from my mind that needs to spoke out everything that what I feel now before me forgetting about it. All the experience, all the bitter situation happened to me suddenly appeared, when I think back what I have in life I have to grappled all these opportunity as well, living with chronic RA is not easy task for me and I am sure for all patient like me, Terrible life I guess but still thankful to GOD that I am still alive even there is time I wish rather be died (Upset person indeed) Frankly speaking it is not easy to stay positive when the terrible things goes in to you life. People only can see you and convince you to be patience but like other say “berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul” I not blame anyone at all.
As a human being there are so many temptation come along but the most important is the supporting moral from the surrounding specially from family and itself helping much believed me. I know not all my friends even my relatives know well what actually I am suffering then I also no intention to let them know strict away, it enough they knowing that I am not feeling well and had done a few operation on my legs. Being at home for almost two years (started taken leave on 15 march 2010 till now) without counting is though life for me there a bitter life inside, forgetting about that. I believe is the matter of time to heal GOD BLESS.
At the beginning I have no intention went to be blogging as well because I am the person consider lazy lady and telling the truth I don’t know what is calling a blog (Thanks to my sifu blog miss Dida ) , I have been heard about it but I do not understand in fact I do not make myself understand much but with plenty of time staying at home I plan to do something new and of course spending my time , I only read what I like Ha ha...during my very hardest time 2010 my brothers and friends had given me a lot book for motivation like a CHICKEN SOUP for unsinkable soul, THE HEAVEN IS SO REAL etc. but now I realize that the blog more than a books , I can read as more as I want by exploring randomly blog, the more I read my life so meaning and full of knowledge, there are many surprise that I am not noticing come along. I was enjoying reading as well. I just want to keep this blog as well the memories and refresh it back one day what was happened to me now and I wish to make it meaningful to other, for the time being I need a lot of study and research by asking for the senior blogging and I believed when time passed by I can make it more interesting and share with the world. I just want to stay positive even there are unexplained condition and circumstance ahead.

My journey not stop yet they are many condition may arise that I also can’t aspect but still hoping everything in moderation ways, I have heard poem that GOD not give you the challenge if you can’t face it.hua hua..The time I wrote this story telling my life I am waiting for the time to do the third operation, this time for my right knee. I am promising to myself that I don’t want to cry again…I surrender all to GOD maybe this is the best solution for my health problem as well. Powerpuff girl go…go…go ehheh
p/s: Ayeen don’t cry again…


In this sad world of ours,
sorrow comes to all,
And it often comes with bitter agony,
Perfect relief is not possible,
Expect with time.
You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better.
But this is not true.
You are sure to be HAPPY AGAIN
Knowing this,
Truly believing it,
Will make you less miserable now.
I have had enough experience to make this statement
Abraham Lincoln.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Living with Arthritis

Since I am patient of RA for the past 8 years..i would like to share something about RA

People living with arthritis are often dismayed by how much the disease steals from their lives. If you have arthritis, physical limitations caused by chronic pain, chronic fatigue, stress and more can narrow your world and interrupt living a "normal life."
With arthritis, energy is consumed just trying to accomplish ordinary tasks and usual daily activities. Your focus may be limited to just "getting through the day." Arthritis starts to take control of your life, rather than you taking control of the disease. How can you better manage your illness? What modifications can you make to your lifestyle to make living with arthritis easier? What actions can you take to gain and maintain control over the limitations imposed by arthritis?

1 - Stay Positive
Arthritis is an unpredictable disease, as is the future. Accepting new realities and redefining life within the limitations imposed by disease is important for people with arthritis. Positivity can help you manage life with chronic arthritis.
2 - Trust Your Doctor
Doctors play an essential role in the treatment of arthritis. Choosing a doctor is one of the most critical decisions you make when it comes to your condition. It is imperative that your needs are being met. Find a compassionate, communicative doctor you can trust.
3 - Accept Your Situation
Don't fight the fact that you have arthritis or that your condition changes your life. Don't deny that you have the disease, nor underestimate its impact. Once you accept that you have a chronic illness and that it is a part of your life for the rest of your life, the decisions you make will be better for you and will ultimately improve your life. You must internalize the acceptance -- feel it, don't just say it.
4 - Set Realistic Goals
Set realistic goals for yourself. Through reflection and contemplation, you can assess what you are not happy with and work to change those circumstances. Be sensitive to your innermost feelings. You can focus and begin to make necessary changes in your life. If you have been diagnosed with arthritis, it's important to learn all that you can about the disease. The importance of knowledge and understanding your health condition cannot be overstated. Stay informed --
5 - Protect Your Joints
Joint protection can reduce stress on arthritic joints and decrease pain. There are several joint protection principles which, if followed, will help to conserve energy and preserve joint function.
6 - Manage Your Medications
When your doctor hands you a new prescription, it becomes your responsibility to know what the medication is for, how to take it, and what possible side effects might occur. Medication errors have many causes, but usually have one thing in common -- they could have been prevented.
7 - Keep Active
The benefits of exercise, as part of a treatment program for managing arthritis, are well-known and documented. Despite the known benefits, many people with arthritis avoid exercising regularly.
8 - Watch Your Weight
Being overweight, even moderately, impacts weight-bearing joints and can increase joint pain. As you walk, your hips, knees, and ankles bear three to five times your total body weight. For every pound you're overweight, the equivalent of three to five pounds worth of added pressure is added to each knee as you walk. The flip side of that is good news: losing just 10 pounds causes 30 to 50 pounds of extra stress to be relieved from the joints.
9 - Seek Mutual Support
Arthritis not only affects people who have the disease, it impacts the people around them -- especially family and friends. People living with arthritis and those who have loved ones with the disease can gain insight and draw inspiration from others facing similar challenges. You can share your advice and experiences, offer mutual support, ask questions, and encourage others in

Kudat Trip...

How I wish that I like other with good health in this time, there are many plans in my head now,I have a lot of dream of course went out far from my comfort zone (Home) to release tension, need some fresh air but once again I have to accept the fact that I am not like them.. For the time being myself having terrible disease RA...huh this makes me have a limited choice to do what I like. Here I just to share a simple family trip we made to Kudat recently.
No word can express the feeling…being out for so long...Thank you for my younger brother to plan this trip, of course the kids so happy and excited…Their thinking of the swimming pool of course. For me I must to do some preparation to make sure I can join the trip is taken a pain killer early is most important.Thanks GOD you make the things works even with not good condition I manage to go with them of course with my walking stick.

We start our journey around 1o.oo am with three of my brother kids. My dad cannot accompany with us due to nobody look after anything at home specially the animals. On our way to kudat we went to my brother last school before he left teacher profession to continue his PHD that is SMK Pinawantai, kudat, we manage to take a picture with big “Gong” in fort of the school .I believe his memory in this school almost 4 years teaching there was a sweet memory in life. We continue our journey to kudat town and was arrived there almost 1.00pm we taken lunch somewhere at town before we continue our way to Marina Resort where the place we stay overnight.
Actually this is my second time went to Kudat. I have been there for previous years for the working purpose and at the time, I never chance to look around due to pack time and tiredness. Now I am back here and hope that I can enjoy myself together with my family. We check in at Marina Resort that I think the most popular place in Kudat for some visitor around the world. I can see people use this raya and conjunction to school holiday to bring their family to take holiday here. It a small and simple place but what is makes it interesting I think the view in fort of the sea, the location of Marina resort given beautiful view especially late in the evening. We can see the a few ships around the island also the sunshine.
The kids never let the chance to get along with the swimming pool almost 2 hour ,they never feels boring ,I enjoyed looking after them with many people came in to pool, how I wish I can join with hu.actually my knee feels bad but we (mum and me) have to accompany the kids because their parents not arrived yet.

In the evening we taken our dinner at place call Esplanade, the place most popular in kudat which fresh sea food, the restaurant build under the sea, My brother ordered many of food the big of prawn, ketam, ikan garupa, tuntul ha ha (I don’t know to call it) but once again I can only ate the steam “ikan pisang” but it doesn’t matter most important their enjoy the foods, went to Kudat tidak sah if not trying the sea foods. After we taken dinner we back to resort and seems that everybody tired and take early slept, but the guys continue enjoyed “aramai it” with their friend around Kudat, I don’t know till what time. At the night the Bing Bong (due to tomorrow is Hari Raya) takes a place mercun Sana sini together with the raining but because of tiredness everybody gets well slept.

Early in the morning, I felt my right knee feel so bad, cant explain it but I hope once again the pain killer help me to going through all this matter, the kids once again went to swimming pool accompany by my mum. We ended our trip by taking breakfast before we moved out to back home, and today 31 August 2011…is was first day for Hari Raya…wishing all the Muslim friend..selamat Hari Raya.Even tired but I think all the members was enjoyed the trip, we manage to arrived home almost 2pm THANK YOU GOD

Friday, September 2, 2011


I want to Fly…with all I suffer now I feel want to fly to say to the word that 1 am so tired to face all these…no word can express my feeling..i lose my everthing.i don’t know where I put myself now. Sometimes I asking why me to be choosen all this thing…I feel very dumb…do I make many mistake to other , nothing I can do to changes all this..i surrender to GOD what is the best for me…when people ask me how actually the word..i do not know to terrible things happened in my life…I wish I will like a bird can fly wherever they want to go..
Bird…pls bring me far away…fly with me………

I Was Here Tokyo, Japan

Thank You Tokyo, Japan...U are great place to visit...No Regret..